Kindness Pledge

Kindness Pledge:  Basic Overview & Instructions

This is my suggestion for how we implement “The Kindness Pledge”:

  1.  All participation on this site, or in the FB group, requires signing the Pledge.
  2.  If someone behaves in egregious disrespect of the pledge, they will be banned.
  3.  Anything else: we just discuss and attempt to resolve kindly & calmly.

For a more complete background & explanation about the Kindness Pledge, please look here.  Thanks!

INSTRUCTIONS:

You are invited to sign this according to your own level of comfort.  (And to suggest changes.)  But, a stated level of sincere agreement is required for participating anywhere in the Kindful Community–here, or in the FB group.

Agreement is expressed by logging in to the Comment section below to an account that uses your real first name, and pledging your commitment to this pledge.  If you have trouble, please let me know.   (Send a message to A Kindful Place (Business Page) on FB.)  Sometimes it’s easiest to do from a desktop computer.

You can express agreement using words that can be something along these lines:

 

  1.  Total Agreement:  “Count me in! I so pledge!”
  2.  Agreement with the General Spirit:  “I will uphold the spirit of the kindness pledge.”
  3.  Reserved Agreement:  “I pledge to express myself in kind ways, but I have the following concerns…” (and you can specify your reservations).

KINDNESS PLEDGE

The Kindness Pledge is our active commitment to

openhearted sharing,

receptively listening,

and patient, trust-based conversation,

for the sake of:

personal growth,

meaningful connections & relationships,

and societal healing and transformation.

 

We pledge to:

(a) ~ask for what we need 

(b) ~refrain from giving what is not asked for (advice, criticism)

(c) ~show up as our authentic selves

(d) ~operate from an assumption of others as fundamentally human rather than fundamentally inferior, bad, or “other” 

(e) ~own our own flaws (rather than rushing to point out other peoples’)

(f) ~express ourselves directly, especially if our feelings have been hurt or our boundaries have been crossed (rather than expecting others to “mindread”)

(g) ~remember to speak and act, as much as we can, from calm intention (rather than acting on momentary anger, or momentary reactivity)

(h) ~stick around if a conflict comes up, and resolve it kindly & respectfully; and to ask for help in the resolution process, should we need it.

 

Furthermore, we will

(i) ~refrain from what is called “hate speech” and instead, refer to others by the terms they find most respectful (i.e., referring to people by the gendered pronouns they prefer)

(j) ~post trigger warnings for explicit language or descriptions of traumatic events (or other frequently triggery things–an easy-to-spot reminder of the common triggers, for easy reference, is coming soon)

(k) ~do what we can to make it safe for others to share & risk & experiment at their own growing edge

(l) ~do what we can to make sure that when someone shares something meaningful, someone kind & receptive is always listening

(m) ~find the courage to share what we are able to, to stretch our own growing edge.

 

And, finally, we pledge to:

(n) ~offer our gentle care, protection and strength, to the most vulnerable among us, in a way that helps heal harm to minority groups, people who have experienced trauma (including family-related trauma), and to

(o) ~ help make the world safe for children (including each other’s Inner Children).  

 **Let us make the world a place where it is safe for Children, and for the Inner Child inside us all.**

watercolor-portrait-1050721

 — Sometimes —

[a poem]

Sometimes when you trust,
your trust is broken.
Sometimes when you love,
your heart gets crushed.
Sometimes when you’re honest,
people don’t like what you think.

But one day,
your life will turn out…beautifully.
You will be surrounded with people
who you can trust, love, and be honest with.
And unlike the liars, the unappreciative,
and the fakers, you’ll never regret
not being your best or have to wonder
if your life could have turned out any better
if you’d just had the courage
to be trusting, honest, and yourself
the whole time.

~doe zantamata

 
From the book, “Poems,” by Doe Zantamata.  (link

INSTRUCTIONS:

You are invited to sign this according to your own level of comfort.  (And to suggest changes.)  But, a stated level of sincere agreement is required for participating anywhere in the Kindful Community–here, or in the FB group.

Agreement is expressed by logging in to the Comment section below to an account that uses your real first name, and pledging your commitment to this pledge.  If you have trouble, please let me know.   (Send a message to A Kindful Place (Business Page) on FB.)  Sometimes it’s easiest to do from a desktop computer.

You can express agreement using words that can be something along these lines:

 

  1.  Total Agreement:  “Count me in! I so pledge!”
  2.  Agreement with the General Spirit:  “I will uphold the spirit of the kindness pledge.”
  3.  Reserved Agreement:  “I pledge to express myself in kind ways, but I have the following concerns…” (and you can specify your reservations).
If something on this page touched you, please *SPREAD the KINDNESS!*
heidi.juniper
Founder at A Kindful Place
Heidi Juniper is a recovering perfectionist and self-connection coach, helping people gain power and insight from their emotions, by honouring each person’s own inner wisdom, and offering tools from psychology and neuroscience.

She sincerely hopes that this fledgling community, as it grows, may help you find something meaningful or helpful you've not found elsewhere.

We love comments! If this is your first comment here, please sign the KINDNESS PLEDGE (located in Top Menu) by expressing agreement in the Comments Section of that page. Using an account that links to your real (first) name & a genuine photo is preferred. FB login will show in main thread if you "Reply" to a WP Comment. Thanks so much, for what you share! :)

34 Comments On "The Kindness Pledge"

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JiEun Lee
Guest
JiEun Lee

I was keep looking to put my name on the pledge and I got to the end 🙂 I will leave a comment here saying that I signed a pledge. This is really beautiful and much-needed

Michelle
Guest
Michelle

Count me in!

SBSquared
Member

Hooray! I figured technology out. I’m all in on the pledge.

Laurie Shade-Neff
Guest
Laurie Shade-Neff

Laurie here and I am happy to sign this pledge! Count me in!

Charlotte
Guest

I’m in! Love this pledge!!

Perhaps you could work on producting/sharing a list of trigger warnings, I know of some of the more widely used TWs but would find it useful to have somewhere to check about TWs incase I and other people are uncertain in the future.

Sheila Bergquist
Guest

I’m in! So excited about your site.

Anne Marie Huntington
Guest
Anne Marie Huntington

I so pledge

Karen
Guest
Karen

Count me in! I so pledge.

Jessica
Guest
Jessica

I will jump in with both feet in favor of kindness. Thanks for the kind invitation.

Colleen
Member

Yes, I’m in! Particularly love the bit about refraining from giving advice unless requested – I think if this were a generally-held precept in society we’d be living in a kinder, braver, more generous world. But we can start here 🙂 (PS this is the second time I’ve tried to pledge, so apologies if it’s a double post).

Diana Waldow
Guest
Diana Waldow

I finally got to a desktop to sign the kindness pledge. Yes, yes, yes, I wholeheartedly agree to everything in the kindness pledge. Since I grew up without adult supervision, my social skills can be a bit off at times please inform me if I say something that may be offensive or insensitive in any way.

Patti
Guest

The world needs more kindness, so I pledge to be even kinder than I already am.

Scott Waterhouse
Guest
Scott Waterhouse

Upon the blood of mine kitten, I so pledge!

Cynthia
Guest
Cynthia

Yes, I wholeheartedly pledge kindness!

Gretchen
Guest
Gretchen

Count me in

Jason Clark
Guest
Jason Clark

I will take this pledge. I may be a bit bashful at first, though. New to this type of forum.

Sky
Guest
Sky

I Signed; with total agreement. Love and kindness to everyone! <3

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